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Monday, January 31, 2011

What is the Most Important thing in a Relationship

Okay I am not an expert or anything but lets be real for a minute anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows. This is going to be somewhat of a task to explain but I will do my best. I am only human you know. Let start by breaking down what a relationship is and they different types as well as what is needed to have a relationship. Then we will move into how to apply them to make a relationship work. This could be a long article because I have a lot of information but I will try to break it up into smaller articles to make it easier for you and so you don't have to do a lot of reading.
Relationship what is it? A relationship is a connection if we were to look up the word it would say the state of being connected or the state in which two or more concepts,people,or objects are connected.
Now that we know what a relationship is how about we talk about the different kinds involving people, There are many levels such as husband/wife,boyfriend/girlfriend,sister/sister,brother/brother,parent/child,neighbor/neighbor,friend/friend,and many more. Most people hear the word relationship and think boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. They often overlook the many other type and levels of relationships. That is why I am writing this article. To help people realize all they types and what is need for each type and to talk about the most important thing in a relationship.
Before I get into that ask yourself this question is there a such thing as an opinionated question or a question in which the answer is based on opinion only? Think about it for a moment. If you answered yes to this question then you have no idea,any question has a universal answer meaning that it can be answered right or wrong. I know because I have done the research myself. I sat down with many people and asked a series of questions that many believe are opinionated and yes I have gotten several answers but once I to time to find the answers to these questions in which I have already had by the time I started my research I realized that even these questions can be answered. So not do this little experiment yourself ask ten of your friends "what is the most important thing and a relationship" and see how many different answer you get. I only ask this to make my next point in which I will get to in a few minutes. Once you have your answer really think about the question and then give your answer. Some of them might match but you are going to get at least four different answers and that is because many people are blinded by what they have learned growing up. That is normal so don't be offended in anyway this is a natural process.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way lets get into breaking down and defining each piece of a relationship such as everything need to make a relationship. Many people know all these things and what they are the problem is they don't know how to apply them to a relationship. I have learn this the hard way and I am not that old but many go through their entire lives and never learn these things so I am here to tell you and hopefully make a difference in everybody's life and relationships. First things first what does it take to make up a relationship? Well...
It takes a great number of things in which I am about to listen so listen up and listen good you don't want to miss this.
  1. Trust: What is trust you ask? Well trust is knowing you can depend on someone or something. The book definition would be to place reliance on or in .
  2. Honesty: The act of not telling any lies but the book definition is free of deceit or untruthfulness,sincere.
  3. Love: The deepest feeling of caring for another. The book definition says an intense feeling of deep affection.
  4. Communication: Socialization or as the book say the exchange of information or news.
  5. Commitment: this one tends to confuse a lot of people commitment is being dedicated to someone or something, the book definition says an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
Those are the major things need to have a relationship with anyone or anything. However none of them are the most important thing in a relationship. This thing I speak of makes or breaks a relationship and I can speak from experience when I say that if you subtract a one or two of the things listed above you could still have a relationship with someone or something. It is possible to be part of a relationship with some of them. Now I bet you are wondering what could be the most important thing in a relationship and how is it that none of those things are. Well if I told you that everyone knows what the most important things in a relationship is they are just unaware that they know. How would you feel? Now that I have you thinking let me ask you if love and all the things listed above help make up a relationship but you can still have one without them or some of them then what is the number one key ingredient in a relationship?
Ha Ha I am still not ready to tell you yet lets talk a bit more first. When you first start any type of relationship are you 100% honest with that person know that you barely know them? Well are you? How about trusting them do you totally trust them even though you know you are suppose to honestly do you? Heck do you love them? Are you fully committed to them? and I am sure there is not much communication at the very beginning now is there? Do you see my point. So what makes that a relationship? Take a few moments to think about it. Have you figured it out yet?
Now lets talk about it and you may not agree with me at first but once you hear my answer and explanation to my answer everyone will agree, the most important thing in a relationship and the thing that is need and wanted most is the attention. Why you ask well lets put it this way what attracts you to someone how do you notice them if you like someone and they don't notice you what do you do? You try to get their attention by either drawing attention to yourself or by gaining theirs some how.
If you are in a relationship no matter what type or kind what happens if a person pays you too much attention,  normally you want them to leave you alone or you start to feel crowded like you need your space, what happens if you don't get enough attention, well you start to look elsewhere for it. Lets face it attention makes or breaks a relationship. Once the level of attention is established then everything else is built. That is where the love,honesty,communication,commitment,trust,and in some cases sex and faithfulness depending on the type of relationship.
Now that I have informed you of this are there any questions? If so feel free to ask leave them as comments or ask them directly and I will do my best to answer them and thanks for reading this article.

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